I recently read Marie Kondo’s now-classic The Life Changing Magic of Tyding Up. Underlying the advice about how to fold your clothes and the batty-seeming suggestion to talk to your stuff was a solid truth: we can choose our lives, but unless we decide to do so deliberately, we will not— and we will often not even be aware that this is happening. Kondo demonstrates this easily in reference to possessions: we keep unused gifts and promotional throw-aways and things that came in the mail even when we don’t like them, want them, or have any use for them. They become part of our stuff without our ever having chosen them. They show up, we let them in, and then bam! They’re ours. This happens with stuff, with people, with habits, with jobs, with whole careers, with whole lives. When zoomed out to these macro things, asking “does it spark joy?” somehow seems more important.
If we do not make deliberate choices about the elements of our lives, they will be decided for us by circumstance, chance, and others’ interests.
Of course, sponteneity can bring joy, serendipity, the unexpected, the delightful, the life-changing, in its own right. I don’t mean to suggest we can’t open ourselves to things that come along– but when they do, ask ourselves why we are letting them be part of our lives. There are two benefits to this approach: first, we aren’t cluttered with things that don’t serve us, and second, we can truly value the things that do.
Identifying our values through sorting our stuff? OK, I’m sold. As a healthcare provider, I’m keenly interested in identifying what people value.